Tuesday, November 25, 2008

on edge.

so a friend of mine is back.
well not like she was gone for a long time.
we had a falling out about a month ago,
but i ran into her last night and it was just like old times...
which kind of scares me.
we just lead two very different lifestyles.
with her its just so easy to get caught up and forget about my morals and priorities.
at first the lifestyle was so glamorous.
shes a playmate so money's never an issue.
we can always get in anywhere we want.
VIP, the whole nine yards.
but the lifestyle that comes along with it is completely insane.
the partying, the drugs,the sex,the every nights a party thing.
after awhile it can be so draining.
you dont know who you can trust.
who's real, who's fake.
its just a lifestyle im not used to.
and i dont know if i want to get used to it.
i mean its fun now, but theres no long term in it.
i dont still wanna be doing that five years from now.
i want to be done with school and starting a career.
i dont know.
i just need to set boundaries and stick to my guns this time around.
i mean ill still hang out but no more binge weeks of partying hard.
im over it.
"God determines who walks into your life.. it's up
to you to decide who you're letting to walk away, who
you're letting to stay, & who you refuse to let go."


p.s. i love this tattoo!

7 comments:

Simplicity said...

Hey Girlie! Just stopping by to give tips on how to post your award. Just save the picture at this link http://chasingwentworthmiller.blogspot.com/2008/11/thank-you-walking-butterfly-for-this.html as a jpg file, create your post based on the criteria and then add an image to the post. I hope this helps! Let me know if you need more...

Gavin said...

I´ve done a lot of that in my past, lots of booze n drugs n other things, but it soon just became booze n drugs an 10yrs ago i crashed n burned n had to quit the lot an rebuild myself and my life. Some people can do it n survive but others it takes their toll. If you are listening to yourself deep deep down you will know the best way to go. Keep on truckin.

Rachel Tamed said...

I love the style of your writing - just take care not to stay too long at the party, you seem smart enough to do just fine.

whoissecretdubai said...

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Anyone happen to know who Secret Dubai (the blogger: secretdubai.blogspot.com) is?

http://whoissecretdubai.blogspot.com/

Simplicity said...

Just be careful and take care of yourself! Partying is one thing, but it just takes one small mis-step to end up in a horrendous situtation.

It's easy sometimes when your friends open all possible doors for you...

Gavin said...

where are you? you've disappeared?

Simplicity said...

Hello...are you still out here in blogland??